The Drones Are Coming!!

So you want to read a book but you don't want to go to the library or bookstore.  Sure, you could grab your tablet or smart device of choice and download practically anything in a few seconds.  But suppose you want the feel of paper, or perhaps a leather bound copy of some old classic.

Well, worry no more.  Soon, Amazon will have flying robots bring you a book quicker than the pizza can get there.  No, I'm not kidding.  Amazon Prime Air promises to use drones for deliveries.  And if you've noticed, these quadcopter drones are all the rage right now.  I've drooled over several myself, and watched countless videos of them.

The problem, I believe, will be that these suckers will get stolen left and right.  They are unmanned, just flying along, and someone shoots it out of the air, or grabs it when it's on the ground, or throws something at it when it's low to knock it out of the sky.  Good ones today sell for 400-500 bucks.  One that has GPS, is completely automated, has a 10 mile range, and can carry a few pounds will easily sell for a grand or more each.

But still, technology is way cooler each year.

Upcoming Posts - Changes

So much old literature is starting to bog me down.  I need something newer.  I'm starting to crave modern books!  So my master plan of not migrating to mid-twentieth century classics until 2015 has got to change.

I plan to start the new year with a few of the Gothic Romance novels I promised you, but then I'll jump right into early-mid 20th century books of literary merit.  I'm not saying there won't be a few modern genre fiction novels thrown in just to bug you, because it may happen.  Since that's what I write myself, I've got to stay current with what the public is reading.

Thank you for your support.

Audiobook Narration

Is it just me, or do you hate to hear an audiobook narrated with the "wrong" voice?  A British novel should not be narrated by an American.  A southern drawl should not be faked.  Mark Twain books should not be narrated by someone from Brooklyn.  And when I listen to Tolstoy, I prefer English with a Russian accent.

On the way to work the other morning, I popped in a CD audiobook of Dickens' A Christmas Carol.  It was a standard midwestern American accent.  Boo!  That book is supposed to take us back to early Victorian England, and anything but a British accent just doesn't cut it.

As far as male/female, it should be based on the main character.  Normally, authors write main characters with the same sex as themselves, but not always.  I would expect Jane Austen novels to be narrated by a British female.  But Charles Dickens novels might be a British male or female, depending on the book.  And I certainly don't want to hear Clive Cussler's Dirk Pitt stories narrated by anyone but a tough sounding American male.

Are you with me?  Good.

So anyway, what are you guys doing tonight?  I'm up for anything.

Book Review: An Upheaval, by Anton Chekhov (1886)

This was a great story.  Unfortunately it's been lost to history and only the opening few chapters remain.

No, that's not true.  But that's how I felt after reading it.  An Upheavel was wonderfully written, but ended rather abruptly.  I suppose Chekhov just had an idea he wanted to put on paper, even if it never developed into a full novel.  Chekhov is known for his extensive writing.  In a little over 20 years he wrote hundreds of short stories.  So if any of them feel unfinished we shouldn't blame him.  Just be happy we get a taste of his wonderful writing.

An Upheaval is a perfect example of that.  You are quickly drawn into the story of a young governess who has to choose between harsh treatment by her mistress or returning to a simpler, if poorer, way of life.  She is an instant heroine, and instantly likable.  That shows great talent for Anton Chekhov to have a character grab readers in such a short amount of time.

Halloween Village

This is what I've been doing instead of posting reviews.  This little gem took weeks to carve and paint.  It's my first one.  Maybe next year I'll expand.  Maybe by next year my wife will have forgiven me for spending a boatload of money on these expensive little "Spooky Town" houses and things.

Update: Video does look bad, I know.  It looked great before uploading.  Don't know how to make it higher quality.

F. Scott Fitzgerald's Suggested Reading List

The story takes place in the mid 1930s.  F. Scott Fitzgerald was in a bad way.  He was battling alcoholism and depression.  His wife, Zelda, was admitted to the Highland Hospital of North Carolina.  While staying at the Grove Park Inn, in Asheville, NC, he fired a revolver in a suicide attempt.  After that, the Grove Park Inn wanted him to leave, but allowed him to stay if he had someone to look after him.

Enter Dorothy Richardson.  Dorothy was both his nurse and companion.  The story goes that he eventually became friends with her and wanted to help her literary growth.  So he gave her a list of 22 books that he recommended.  Richardson wrote at the top of the list the following words:

"These are books that S.F. thought should be required reading."

Book Review: Notes from Underground, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1864)

In the book Notes From Underground, the term underground refers to an emotional place where people live.  The narrator of the story is a representative of a type of people who are full of thoughts and feelings but spend most of their life not expressing them.  Those thoughts well up and take hold of them.  They do not interact with their fellow man as they wish they could, but instead evolve elaborate scenarios of both real and imagined wrongs and triumphant ideas for expression and retribution.

That could sum up the entire book, but this isn't something we want to sum up.  Notes from Underground is not the sort of book to be glossed over and stuck back on a shelf.  Dostoyevsky's writings are brimming with ideas, thoughts, truisms, and interesting factoids on life.  But there's a devil of a time to pull meaning out of most of this book.  It's a rambling discourse on God knows what, for parts of it.

Book Review: Notes from Underground, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1864) - Pre-Thoughts

When reading Notes From Underground, it is required that you wear a black turtleneck shirt, beret, and dark glasses.  Goatee is optional.  You must sit in a dark café discussing revolution.  Someone must appear on stage telling bad poetry about death.  B-Y-O-Bongos.

Beatnik?  or Russian Revolutionary?

I don’t know why I always had the impression, just based on the name, that Notes From Underground was something beatniks would read, something to do with Russian revolution and philosophy, and socialism, perhaps.  Maybe the name Dostoyevsky is the cause – his name conjures up images of deep metaphysical, philosophical discussions.

Either way, get ready because I'm going to read this book.  I'll report back from time to time on my progress, and let you know if I feel my personal philosophy being swayed in any way.

Coming Soon: H. Rider Haggard Months!

A tribute to the father of modern treasure hunting adventure stories!

H. Rider Haggard started an entire genre of books when he wrote King Solomon's Mines.  Late July and August, 2013, will be dedicated to reading as many of his books as I can squeeze in.  Here are some I will read.

• Allan Quatermain (1887)
• She (1887)
• Cleopatra (1889)
• Nada the Lily (1892)

I will also try to read these others, if I have the chance.

• The World's Desire (1890)
• Eric Brighteyes (1891)
• Montezuma's Daughter (1893)
• The People of the Mist (1894)

Book Review: Master and Man, by Leo Tolstoy (1895)

Master and Man is the story of Vasili Andreevich and his servant Nikita.  Both men set out on a journey to a nearby town and are caught up in a snow storm.  This is a character study that focuses mainly on the master, Vasili Andreevich.  His character evolves during the course of the story and Tolstoy charts those changes for us.

Book Review: How Much Land Does a Man Need, by Leo Tolstoy (1886)

How Much Land Does a Man Need?

This was a parable.  Based on the title, I assumed it would be a social commentary, perhaps an essay on socialism or communism, the sharing of wealth and land.  I assumed it would be a way to demonstrate that people only need enough land to feed their families, and the rest of the land should be shared out to others.

But it turned out to be nothing like that at all.  It was a parable about a man who wanted more and more land, who was tricked by Satan at every turn because Satan kept telling him (in the form of other people) about cheaper land someplace else.  He moved from place to place, buying land, selling it, then buying more.  He ended up in a bad way, and died trying to gain more land.

Book Review: The Christmas Tree and the Wedding, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1848)

I won't lie to you, this story sort of disgusted me.  I'm sure that was the purpose.  Imagine seeing a cute little 11 year old girl.  Then imagine planning to marry her.  I shouldn't use the word "plan".  Scheme would be better.  Connive.

Having a narrator was just a way of telling the story, he plays no part in the story except as an observer.  He went to a Christmas party, got bored with no one to talk to, and watched some children play.  One of them was a pretty little 11 year old girl.  It came out that the father had already set aside a large amount of money for her dowry.

Book Review: The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1877)

The Dream of the Ridiculous Man is what modern readers of Dostoyevsky crave.  Forget mysteries or thrillers.  They want something they can speak of while using the word “metaphysical”.  If they can say that to their friends while describing the inner meanings of this story, it’s a winner.

So here we have a short story that is a thin allegory of Dostoyevsky’s thoughts on the meaning of life.  I warn you now, if you want a fun story, an entertaining plot with whacky characters, you’re looking in the wrong place.  Dostoyevsky uses a very brief tale of a suicidal man to do nothing more than describe a journey for meaning.  This was his last short story, written just a few years before his death.  There are obvious Christian elements in the symbolism.

June is Russian Month

As you know, all of 2012 and 2013 were dedicated to reviewing 19th century literature here at The Literary Rambler.  This month I will specialize in 19th century Russian literature.  Sorry, I won't have time for such monsters as War and Peace or The Brothers Karamazov, but I'll at least get my feet wet with some of Leo Tolstoy's and Fyodor Dostoyevsky's shorter works.

I will also read these guys:

• Anton Chekhov
• Alexander Pushkin
• Nikolai Gogal
• Mikhail Saltykov-Shchedrin
• Ivan Turgenev

As always, I'll review them with a modern eye, not the flowery, fawning simplicity of a 3rd year lit student.  I won't give you the typical awestruck review because these are giants in literature.  I'll be honest, as my readers have come to expect from me.  But Russian literature has something to offer that Dickens, Austen, and Twain do not.  Their culture was unique, and their world evolved from something far different than ours.  We want a taste of their history, their concerns, and their thoughts.  And isn't that why we read literature?

Manly Months - One Final Thought

I know we're done with Manly Months but I had a few more examples to share.

Here is everyone's favorite Victorian Historian, Professor Patrick Allitt, discussing the tough schooling that boys received in Britain in the 1800s.

The two most famous [schools] and two of the most ancient were Eton and Harrow...The Duke of Wellington had claimed that the battle of Waterloo, back in 1815, had been won on the playing fields of Eaton.  What he meant by that was that the tough schooling which the young gentlemen had been given there had prepared them for their roles as army officers and enabled them to prevail in the situation of the battle itself.  Eaton, especially in the early 19th century, was a very hard school indeed.  A merciless discipline was enforced by the master on the boys, but also by the older boys on the younger ones.  They had a system called fagging which really amounted to a kind of slavery in which the younger boys were completely at the mercy of the older ones and could be bullied and beaten by them without any redress at all.

Manly Months Conclusion

When Men Were Men

Manly Months is done.  We spent April and May reading manly 19th century literature, and you might be surprised at just how rough and tough our ancestors were.  Believe it or not they didn't all sit around sipping tea and eating cobbled oats.  I know, they wore those lacy looking shirts and all, but don't define them by their frilly fashion sense.

Here are the books I managed to read and review:

• King Solomon's Mines, by Sir H. Rider Haggard (1885)
• Captains Courageous, by Rudyard Kipling (1897)
• Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad (1899)
• The Red Badge of Courage, by Stephen Crane (1895)
• The Black Arrow, by Robert Louis Stevenson (1888)
• The Frozen Pirate, by W. Clark Russell (1887)

Only six books, I wish I could have finished more.  Here's a list of others I could have added to this list, and still plan to read:

Book Review: The Frozen Pirate, by W. Clark Russell (1887)

This is one of the better books I read during Manly Months here at The Literary Rambler.  It's the story of adventure on the seas, of treasure and survival.  It starts out with some of the boldest action language I've ever seen.

The storm made a loud thunder in the sky, and this tremendous utterance dominated without subduing the many screaming, hissing, shrieking, and hooting noises raised in the rigging and about the decks, and the wild, seething, weltering sound of the sea, maddened by the gale and struggling in its enormous passion under the first choking and iron grip of the hurricane's hand.

That's what W. Clark Russell was known for, and that's why people read him.  I first heard about him from the Sherlock Holmes story, The Five Orange Pips, which had Watson reading a Russell book.

Book Review: The Black Arrow, by Robert Louis Stevenson (1888)

The Black Arrow was a harrowing tale of a young adventurer, trying to find his true love.  It's set against the backdrop of the War of the Roses.  You don't have to know anything about the history of the period, the author feeds you any details necessary.  For the most part it's not a bad tale, just a bit long winded.  That may not make a lot of sense because it's a small book - only about 80,000 words, 220ish pages.  But it felt like it just went on and on.

2013 Writers' Conferences in the Southeast

January 6-12, 2013
Blue Flower Arts Winter Writers' Conference
New Smyrna Beach, Florida

January 19-27, 2013
Eckerd College Writers’ Conference: Writers in Paradise
St. Petersburg, Florida

January 24-28, 2013
Fun in the Sun Conference
Florida

January 26-27, 2013
Cocoa Beach Writers’ Conference
Cocoa Beach, Florida

April 4-6, 2013
Tennessee Mountain Writers Conference
Oak Ridge, Tennessee

April 5-6, 2013
Blue Ridge Writers' Conference
Blue Ridge, Georgia

April 13, 2013
NC Writers' Network Spring Conference 2013
Greensboro, North Carolina
(I assume they had this but the website link doesn't work.  Not sure if it was a conference or just workshop)

April 18, 2013
Conference on Souther Literature
Chattanooga, Tennessee
(Held every other year)

April 19-20, 2013
Kentucky Writers’ Conference and Southern Kentucky Bookfest
Bowling Green, Kentucky

May 4-5, 2013
DFW Writers Conference
Dallas-Ft. Worth, Texas

May 10-12, 2013
Atlanta Writers Conference
Atlanta, Georgia

May 17-18, 2013
Tallahassee Book Festival and Writers Conference
Tallahassee, Florida

May 18, 2013
Red Clay Writers' Conference
Kennesaw, Georgia
(This may have replaced Springfest which used to be held in Kennesaw in the spring)

June 23-28, 2013
Chesapeake Writers' Conference
St. Mary's City, Maryland

July 17-20, 2013
Romance Writers of America Annual Conference
Atlanta, Georgia

July 23-Aug 4, 2013
Sewanee Writers' Conference
Sewanee, Tennessee

August 22-26, 2013
Killer Nashville
Nashville, Tennessee

August 30, 2013
The Writers' Conference at the Decatur Book Festival
Decatur, Georgia
(The Decatur Book Festival typically has a one day writers' conference at the start of the festival, but the website currently has no details about it.  Poets and Writers has this blurb)

September 25-28, 2013
Chattahoochee Valley Writers' Conference
Columbus, Georgia
(I don't have much hope for this one, they even misspelled their own name on their website, and they have no details of an event coming in a few months)

September 26-28, 2013
Scribblers Retreat and Writers' Conference
St. Simon's Island, Georgia
(This may not be happening in 2013, they have no details or schedule on their website.  But they do allow you to pay for it online right now)

October 4-5, 2013
Moonlight and Magnolia's 2013
Norcross, Georgia

October 18-20, 2013
Florida Writers Conference
Lake Mary, Florida

October 19-20, 2013
James River Writers' Conference
Richmond, Virginia

November 7-10, 2013
Sanibel Island Writers' Conference
Sanibel Island, Florida

November 15-17, 2013
NC Writers' Network Fall Conference 2013
Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
(No website for this yet, and not sure if it's a true conference or just a workshop)

November 16, 2013
Baltimore Writer's Conference
Baltimore, Maryland
(Website has info from 2011 conference, no details on anything newer except a "save the date" message)

January 5-10, 2014
Blue Flower Arts Winter Writers' Conference
New Smyrna Beach, Florida

January 18-25, 2014

Eckerd College Writers’ Conference: Writers in Paradise
St. Petersburg, Florida



sources: Poets and Writers, Stacey O'Neale, Google

Finding a Writers' Conference

Finding a comprehensive list of writers' conferences was no easy task.  There was no single place I found that had all the ones I came up with for my list, 2013 Writers' Conferences in the Southeast.

Writers' conferences in New York are different.  You can expect everyone in the writing and publishing industry to poke their heads in at some point.  But Georgia?  Sure, we've got a lot of talented writers, but several conferences seem to be either defunct or not well advertised.

Manly Months Report

With only two weeks left in our Manly Months the pressure is on to deliver more of that manly stuff!  Don't worry men, there are plenty of other manly 19th century books out there, even if I can't get to them all.

I've reviewed four books and am working on two more.

• King Solomon's Mines
• Captains Courageous
• Heart of Darkness
• The Red Badge of Courage

• The Black Arrow
• The Frozen Pirate

I think I can squeeze in at least one more after this.  But there are many others I wish I had time for.  So much adventure literature of the 19th century took the form of either true war stories, or sea tales.  Here are some of the others I hope to read.

• W. Clark Russell - various sea stories
• Captain Frederick Marryat - various sea stories
• Victor Hugo - Toilers of the Sea (1866)
• Stephen Crane - The Open Boat (1897)
• Richard Henry Dana - Two Years Before the Mast (1840)
• Winston Churchill - various war stories including The River War (1899)

Inferno, by Dan Brown - Predictions

I'm not planning to read this book, not for a while.  Based on his last book, The Lost Symbol, which had a plethora of plot holes, Dan Brown seems to have lost steam.  I don't know anything about Inferno, all I did was glance at the cover on Amazon without even reading the blurb.  So here are my predictions.

Book Review: The Lost Symbol, by Dan Brown (2009)

[I originally posted this review in 2009 on another site.  I'm reposting an updated version of it here because Dan Brown's latest book, Inferno, has just been released.]

The Lost Symbol, by Dan Brown (2009)

Dan Brown has one good skill in particular I'd like to mention.  He's good at puzzles and codes.  That became obvious in The Da Vinci Code.  It's his thing.  I usually enjoy when he incorporates that into his books because he does it well.

I'll start this review of The Lost Symbol by discussing a few points that most critics predicted for this novel.  Then I will discuss the bad points of this book.  The four things that many critics expected before the book even hit the shelves: poor writing skills, formulaic storytelling, predictability, and factual mistakes.

Book Review: The Black Arrow, by Robert Louis Stevenson (1888) First Thoughts

I stopped reading this book.  Well into the third chapter I had no idea what was going on because of that crazy vernacular.  It was written in the late 1800's, but it took place in the 1400's so Stevenson wrote it in that God-awful style straight out of Canterbury Tales.  It's hard to understand, and it makes it difficult to follow.

However, I could tell the storyline was worth reading,

Music is Feeling with Sound

I don't usually post videos on this site, but this one deserves to be enjoyed.  The quote, "Music is Feelings with Sound" comes to mind when I watch this.

Book Review: The Red Badge of Courage, by Stephen Crane (1895)

Tom Sawyer goes to war.

I won't be flip about this book, but I'm probably too old to have read it.  I can now understand why it is so often assigned as a book report in school.  It gives wonderful insight into the mind of a teenager who goes into battle and wants to be a hero.  The descriptions of the main character's thoughts took me back to my own teenage years, describing well the myriads of trifling things that occupy the mind of a guy that age.

It's a coming of age story, as our main character - referred to as "the youth" - is worried that he will run from the battle.  Will he stand and fight?  Will he run like a big chicken?  That's his worry.  It's perfect.  Looking at the Civil War from a distance, looking at the battles as an outsider, we see cause and purpose, we see strategy, we see a fight against slavery maybe, an insurrection perhaps, a great upheaval.  We see all those things.

Audible for Audiobooks

Is audible a good deal?  That's what you want to know.  The answer is a mixed bag, so here's what I found out.

Audible sells audiobooks, but not on CD.  You download them from their website.  The problem is they are in a special format.  It ends with ".aa".  What this means is you have to use special Audible software to play these files.  That's the problem people have with using Audible.

I'll start with the good.

Book Review: Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad (1899)

Yes, this is the book on which the movie Apocalypse Now was based.  Same kind of deal, a man, Marlow, traveling up a river to find another man, Kurtz, who has gone crazy and needs extracting.  Along the way we're treated to surreal and brutal scenes of inhumanity.

This book is far more introspective than I realized it would be.  It's told in the manner of a person looking back on a great sadness or horror, after reflecting on it for some time.

Joseph Conrad was a master literary figure, I gathered that much even if most of what he was saying was far too obtuse for an adventure novel.  Plus his writing can sometimes be a bit long winded.  Take this sentence for example.

Book Review: Captains Courageous, by Rudyard Kipling (1897)

Not so bad sea story about a boy who falls off a ship and is kidnapped by a nice guy who punches him in the face so he learns some manners.

There you have it, the whole story in a nice little nutshell.  I'm not saying it's a bad book but it did surprise me.  The main premise is exactly as I stated above.  For some reason I pictured the book differently.  I thought it would show a young man becoming heroic.  He learned all about life at sea, that much I did expect, but I just pictured him saving the ship in a storm or something.  I mean, the title is Captains Courageous, don't you think he should have done something courageous?  But all he did was fish a lot.

Book Review: King Solomon's Mines, by Sir H. Rider Haggard (1885)

This is an action/adventure book.  Blood pumping action, heart thumping adventure.  This book is about high adventure in Africa made famous by stories of big game hunters and old legends of lost treasure.

It's not for the faint of heart.  It's not for your mother's drawing room or your gran-gran's tea parties.

Lifting his gun, he let drive at the last, a young cow. By some extraordinary chance the ball struck it full on the back of the neck, shattering the spinal column, and that giraffe went rolling head over heels just like a rabbit. I never saw a more curious thing.

Summer of '84

Think of palm trees, sea shells, pina coladas, and endless summer days.  Remember when you were about 19, hanging out at the beach or the lake with friends, throwing a frisbee or just laying on a towel?  Somewhere nearby, that familiar summer song comes on the radio.  Those are the memories I'm pulling out of my own past.

Book Review: King Solomon's Mines, by Sir H. Rider Haggard (1885) - Writing Style

Right, well I'll jump in and start this thing with a quote from the introduction that is worth writing down

....books are easier to understand when they are written in plain language

and

...a true story, however strange it may be, does not require to be decked out in fine words.

This book, more than any book I've read from that period, reads in a style similar to modern writing.  Gone are the too-flowery descriptions and heavy language.  It's blunt, it's strong, and it's brutal.  I say, fine job.

Manly Months Humor

Time to start Manly Months!  Best to start these things with some fun.

Like many people do on a Friday night, I was looking up Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, and came across this video.  Then I saw the size of this organ and said, "Holy Cow, look at the size of that organ!".

And then the response popped in my head.  You score 3 extra Rambler points for guessing the correct response.

Book Review: Bartleby, The Scrivener, by Herman Melville (1853)

This was a strange little short story.  Remember Moby Dick?  Remember it's depth and symbolism and all that yada yada?  Well, this was written by the same person.  People have come up in arms to defend this short story and explain all its depth and symbolism and yada yada.

It's about a Wall Street lawyer who hires a copyist (scrivener) who doesn't want to do anything.  There. Done.  Finis.

But wait, there's more!  We are drawn into this character and want to understand him.  His name is Bartleby.  And whenever he is asked to do anything, he replies with the simple phrase, "I would prefer not to."

Book Review: The Death of Ivan Ilych, by Leo Tolstoy (1886)

The anger and frustration and confusion and pain of a dying man, surrounded by people who have little or no concern for him at all.  His entire life has boiled down to a few friends who are nothing more than coworkers interested in his position, and a family that does not love him but thinks of him as a burden.  That's this book in a nutshell.  It's famous as one of Leo Tolstoy's great achievements, a mastery of the mind.

Depending on which version you have, his name might be Ilych or Ilyich or even Ilyitch.  The first chapter is interesting, the next few chapters are pretty dull.  Then you find yourself drawn back in as Ivan Ilych slowly becomes aware of his illness, is then stymied by it, then the slow downfall as it controls him, and then as it ultimately consumes him.

Grab a Can of Manly!

Okay men, listen up.  We're going to start having more manly books on this review site.  After reading Cranford I thought I was going to grow boobs.

So put on your mad faces.  That's right.  Now give me a GRRRRR!

Yes!  Let that testosterone flow.

Starting in April, we're going to read King Solomon's Mines.  You heard me right, maggots!  Allan Quatermain.  The original Indiana Jones.  Adventure, murder, travel through Africa, treasure, intrigue.  You got it!

Book Review: Cranford, by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell (1851)

Let me start by saying I had no idea this was mid-1800s chick lit when I started reading it.  I plead ignorance.  But I will try to give it an honest review, although I hold the "man card" in reserve to say something "ignernt" as we go on.

Elizabeth Gaskell is a fine writer.  When I pick up a modern novel, half the time it leaves me wondering how the author got through high school.  But with older novels I never see that.  Most published 19th century authors knew how to write.  They knew their grammar, they understood sentence structure, and they were familiar with style.  I don't think my own writing stacks up to most of the 19th century writers I've read.

Book Review: Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (1891) - Society and End Game

Now I want to talk about society at large, and how this book was accepted.  When I read this I kept thinking how crazy it was that people would really treat Tess so badly.  Hardy seemed to be overdoing it.  But then it turns out that this book was actually turned down by several publishers "on the grounds that it was immoral in its sympathetic depiction of a fallen woman."  What?  I double checked that source and its true.  That was a quote by Professor Patrick Allitt, Historian at Emory University.

Book Review: Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (1891) - Tess's Parents

Tess's parents were classic white trash.  They, more than anyone, were responsible for Tess's downfall.  I would blame her family far more than Alec because her family allowed her to go in harm's way - actually placed her there - and then blamed her for the consequences.  They were awful parents.  After Tess got pregnant, they thought of her as a blight on their family name, when she was actually the best of the bunch.  The father rarely worked, and Hardy gave a comical description of him.

Durbeyfield was what was locally called a slack-twisted fellow; he had good strength to work at times; but the times could not be relied on to coincide with the hours of requirement; and, having been unaccustomed to the regular toil of the day-labourer, he was not particularly persistent when they did so coincide.

Book Review: Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (1891) - Angel vs Alec

I finally finished this book.  I won't say it was an enjoyable task, probably because this book is just a single story, a straight shot at a predetermined end that the readers guess very soon into the novel.

It was a story of a young woman, not much more than a girl, with two men who "love" her.  Both are villains.  Now wait, hold on.  Let me explain, before the mob masses with their pitchforks.  This is what I mean when I say I "tear down the idols of literature".

Book Review: Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (1891) - Quaint Traditions and Culture Shock

Something Thomas Hardy gives us in this novel is a look at the culture of the outlying villages.  It reminded me a bit of how some modern books give you that weird glimpse of a backwoods culture.  Andy of Mayberry gone bad.  The Waltons meet the Deliverance rednecks.  But occasionally, that old culture will have a brush with the new.

Dance, You Crazy Daddy-O

We used to hang out in Buckhead - club central of Atlanta.  We'd go to the clubs, go dancing with friends.  Chillin', lookin' hot. We had it going on.

Then we got married.  And moved to the suburbs.  Kids.  Cub Scouts.  Soccer practice.  Bake sales.

My 10 year old daughter put Just Dance 4 into the Wii, and I figured this is a good chance to show her my old moves.

Book Review: Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (1891) - Rural England

Thomas Hardy is a master of bringing rural England to life in literature.  He is one of the best writers of agrarian culture found in Victorian literature.  When I read Tess, or Jude, or Far From the Madding Crowd, there are parts of it that flow smooth as silk, giving beautiful descriptions of everyday rural life.

Like, Stop Saying That, Dad!

I've been told to stop.

"I was like, what are you talking about?" 

"Dad, you're not allowed to say 'like'."

My 10 year old informed me that "old people" can't use "kid words".  Well, I told that young lady a thing or two!  I grew up in the 70's and 80's.  We invented half the slang they use today.

"I know, right?" 

"Dad, you can't say 'right' anymore, either."

Book Review: Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy (1891) - First Thoughts

Even after just a few chapters, I could feel this thing driving forward with a single purpose, to a predetermined end that left no room for conjecture - the destruction of a young girl.

Well this is it.  After all the ranting and raving I've done about uptight Victorian prudence and backwards views towards women, I'm finally reading the end-all, be-all book on that very subject.  It's all about how mean society is towards "fallen women".  Yep, that's this book in a nutshell.  From that, you can guess the entire premise of the book as well as the ending.  And even though I'm only half-way through, I can guess everything that will happen.

Book Review: Uncle Tom's Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe (1852) Part Two

Several characters in this book are worth mentioning.  Uncle Tom, of course.  He's the hero.  I know, I know, we've all been told he is not the hero, that he was weak.  We've been told the heros of the book are the ones that ran away, that escaped to Canada.

Well, I'm here to tell you that is not true.  Anyone willing to die for their faith and for the protection of others is a hero.  Uncle Tom was a hero.

But I can't discount the part Eliza and George played in this book.  That was exciting and kept me on the edge of my seat.  Early in the story, she took her son and ran away.  One of the most dramatic moments of the book was when Eliza picked up her son and ran across the Ohio River, jumping from ice patch to ice patch.  To be honest, I really thought she was going to die.  I thought that Harriet Beecher Stowe planned to kill her off as an example of the brutality of slavery.  But she didn't.  I'm so glad!  We were all in her corner, rooting for her!  Go Eliza!!

Book Review: Uncle Tom's Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe (1852) Part One

I felt this book.  Not as much as I wished, but I felt it.

I’m not surprised that it’s unpopular today.  It shows racism in its bleakest form.  It shows how slaves lived and how they acted and the things they said - not from a modern day viewpoint, but from the viewpoint of people who saw it happening at the time, who experienced it.

There is a strong possibility you will never read this book.  I'll give spoilers here, and I'm going to tell you how it ends.  Got it?  Okay.

It's All in the Details

We can accept a book about vampires.  Or how about a search for Atlantis?  Or better yet, the Holy Grail?  From Dracula to dinosaurs, we don't mind reading these books.  We take them at face value.

But what we can't accept is poor research into the real world.  You'd better know your stuff, and make it believable.

Lessons on Writing from Downton Abbey

Raise your hand if you thought it was Downtown Abbey.  Yeah, me too.

If you like that show, you may have something in particular about either the format or storyline that keeps you watching.  I noticed something that is so obvious yet so subtle that many people might have overlooked it.  It's something that's well worth remembering, and is worth applying to my own writing style.

Book Review: Bleak House (Charles Dickens, 1853) Conclusion

Poor Richard!  He spent all his time worrying over that dreaded court case.  When it finally went wrong, he just wasted away and died within hours.  Really?  I mean, is it that easy to die in Victorian Britain?  Well, if you’re not in the “working class”, the answer is yes.  Those leisured classes were dropping like flies, swooning away for this and that at the drop of a hat.  When the court ended, Richard couldn’t even yell at the judge because he had blood in his mouth.  What?  Did he bite his tongue?  They kept alluding to him wasting away for months before this under the care of the good and wise Woodcourt.  Wasting away?  From worry?  Are they going to stamp that on the official certificate of death, signed by the coroner?  Cause of death – worry.

Book Review: Bleak House (Charles Dickens, 1853) Wacky Characters Part II

Esther and her mother.  Okay, not so wacky, but wacked out, maybe.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not here to throw mud on these people.  But let's be honest, the idea that Esther spends her whole life longing to do things for other people just to be loved is a bit hard to take.  At some point she's got to realize she is not the person her evil aunt told her she was.

Book Review: Bleak House (Charles Dickens, 1853) More About Those Wacky Characters

There's a particular character I want to discuss, because she is one of Dickens' finest drawn characters.  Mrs. Jellyby is just horrible.  So terrible you will just love her.  When we switch back to one of her scenes, you cringe to read it, but read it you must.

A Book's Beginnings

It happened again.

The first time was on March 6, 2009.  I woke up from a dream.  It was wonderful and terrible.  It consumed me as I lay in bed, thinking about it over and over.  I relived it as I drove in to work.  I pored over the details again and again while sitting at my desk.  During my lunch break I began writing.  I continued writing when I got home.  I wrote 10,000 words that day.  I wrote 10,000 words the next day as well.  And the next.  In fact, for 16 days I wrote 10,000 words every day.  On days 17 and 18 I wrote 5,000 words each.  That included editing and rewriting.  After 18 days I was staring at the completed first draft of a 170,000 word novel.

Ripping the Heart Out of Your Book

Step one, spend an untold amount of time pouring your soul into your book.

Step two, reach in with both hands, grab a big hunk of words, then yank them out and throw them away.

When your novel is 112,000 words and no one will read it over 100,000, you can either leave it as is, your pride and joy, your child, and keep art for art's sake.  Or you can strip it down, sell out to "the man", give in to commercialism, trade in your artistic roots and make the darn thing salable.

That is your choice.  Good luck!

The Perfect Pitch

That's what I'm doing.  Working on that perfect pitch letter.  You may write a great novel, but unless you can play salesman and convince someone to publish it, no one will know.  I can't believe how much time I'm spending on this.  Draft after draft, just trying to get the wording right.

There are actually entire books about how to write a "query letter".  The query letter contains your pitch.  You send it to an agent or publisher.  If it's stupid, or doesn't follow the exact format, they won't read your book.

Plus, I have this terrible fear of rejection so I've never submitted anything to anyone, ever.  And guess what?  I've never been rejected.  How many other writers can say that?

Book Review: Bleak House (Charles Dickens, 1853) Continued...

This is not the first time I've waded through this book.  I remember feeling bogged down like a wanderer in a misty wood, wondering who these characters are and how I should feel about them.  This time was better, although it helps to write names down.

Dickens was a master of pulling in a variety of characters who hover on the fringe of a storyline, each adding their part at the right time.  That's even more interesting considering how Dickens wrote.  You probably know his books were serialized.  Each month another chapter would be published in a magazine.  But wait, here's the catch.  He wrote them as he went along.  When he published chapter 12, chapter 13 wasn't written.  Pretty cool, right?  But I'll talk more about that in a post about Dickens.

Book Review: Bleak House (Charles Dickens, 1853) First Look

I'll have a few posts about this book.  I wanted to throw out some initial thoughts on it.

The first two chapters are boring.  I'm not going to lie to you.  But you have to get through them to understand what the heck is going on.  Or I can just tell you.  Chancery court is where they haggled over disputed wills, divorces, alimony and that sort of thing.  Big deal, right?  Well, Victorian Britain had huge problems with their Chancery court, with cases lasting for years and years.  Sometimes decades.  The lawyers got rich, much like here in America.  In the end, the actual individuals - plaintiffs or defendants - ended up with junk.  They got smack, zip, nada.  Dickens was using this for his social commentary.

Oh Come Ye Next Apocalypse

The problem with apocalypses, as opposed to Christmas or New Years, is that they only come once and you really have to enjoy them while you can.  I feel like I didn't get enough out of this last end of the world.  Years ago I imagined having a huge Mayan World's End Bash.  But instead I went to bed early while the wife watched reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond.